


Dear Santa...

by yourbuttervoicedbeau (kiwiana)



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Epistolary, Gen, Letters to Santa, No real attempt at bad child spelling beyond a few crossed out words, Pre-Canon, but hey it's christmas, characters as children, suspending disbelief is half the fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:08:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27768814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwiana/pseuds/yourbuttervoicedbeau
Summary: Letters to Santa, 1987-1997
Relationships: Alexis Rose & David Rose
Comments: 98
Kudos: 122
Collections: Schitt's Creek: Frozen Over (2020)





	Dear Santa...

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [SCFrozenOver2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SCFrozenOver2020) collection. 



> _**Prompt:** I want to read the letters David and Patrick (and anyone else you want, go nuts) wrote to Santa as kids._

##  **1987**

Dear Santa,

As you know (because you’re Santa) me and my mommy and daddy have just moved into a big new house. It’s quite big and mommy and daddy are gone a lot so for Christmas this year can I please have someone to play with?

Also please give Adelina something nice as well because she wrote this letter for me. I told her what to say though. I want to start school soon so I can make new friends and also be able to write to you by myself.

Love,  
David Rose  
Age 4

* * *

##  **1988**

Dear Santa,

Okay let's try this again. Last year I asked you for someone to play with and then mommy told me I was getting a new sibling. But now she’s been born and she’s no fun to play with at all. She cries really loud and can’t even do anything fun. Adelina says it’s my job as her big brother to look after her but she’s really boring. So for Christmas this year can I please have a real friend who will draw pictures and play dress up with me? 

Love,  
David Rose  
Age 5

* * *

##  **1989**

Dear Santa,

I hope it’s ok that I’m writing to you. Matthew Lane said because I’m Jewish I’m not allowed to ask you for any presents. But mommy says I’m a delightful half-half situation and that Matthew Lane is a witless ~~imbi~~ ~~emb~~ imbecile (Adelina showed me how to look up a word in the dictionary but she also said it’s not a nice thing to call someone. But Matthew Lane said mean things first. Is he on the naughty list this year? It’s okay you can tell me.)

Anyway what I would really like for Christmas this year please is some art supplies. It’s nice to just sit on my own and draw at recess instead of playing stupid games where I get dirty.

Love,  
David Rose  
Age 6

* * *

##  **1990**

Dear Santa,

This year I had my first job and got lots of clothes from gap kids after. Adelina says I shouldn’t ask you for more clothes until I’ve outgrown them. She says I’m going to be tall like my dad but I’m not sure. Lots of the boys in my class are bigger than me. 

I used up all the nice markers you gave me last year but they were really nice, so maybe I could have some more of those?

Love,  
David Rose  
Age 7

* * *

##  **1991**

Dear Santa,

Dad says it’s important to thank all our ~~impl~~ employees for all the hard work they do for rose video. So I hope you say thank you to all your elfs for making us toys.

While we’re talking about dad can you please teach him how to give better presents? For my birthday he bought me a town. It had a rude word in it (I better not write it down because I don’t want to be on the naughty list) but still that’s really boring. I think I’d rather have like a sketchpad or something.

Alexis isn’t big enough to write you a letter yet but she really likes Play-Doh and dressing up like a princess so if you could give her something like that for Christmas she would really like that.

Love,  
David Rose  
Age 8

* * *

##  **1992**

Dear Santa,

This year I made a very important discovery. Her name is Mariah Carey and she is perfect. No one will ever mean more to me than she does.

I already have both her albums on tape but I got a CD player and surround sound in my bedroom last month so now I need them on CD as well please. I want to listen to her forever.

Love,  
David Rose  
Age 9

Dear Santa!  
  
David is helping me write to you because he said he was 4 the first time he wrote to you. He said Adelina helped him but she’s had to take some time off so David said he’d help me instead.  
  
This year I would really like lots of makeup and things to dress up in so I can look like my mommy when she goes to her special ~~prim~~ premieres.  
  
Please!  
  
Lots of love,  
Alexis Rose,  
Age 4

To Santa:  
  
Mommy says I should write you a long list so you have lots of things to choose from but I think that’s greedy. But some things that I might like are things that I can share with my cousins, like games to play outside or board games. That would be really nice and hopefully not too hard for your elves to make.  
  
Love from,  
Patrick Brewer,  
Age 4

* * *

##  **1993**

Dear Santa,

Matthew Lane says you’re made up and I’m a stupid baby for believing in you. So this is a test. I’m not going to give this letter to mom or dad or Adelina. I already asked Rosa for a stamp and she gave me one, so I’m going to post this by myself and I’m going to ask you for something no one would guess. That way if I get it I’ll know you’re real. And if I don’t I’ll know that too.

So, Santa: for Christmas this year, please bring me a guitar.

If you bring me a guitar, then I’ll know you’re real and maybe magic is too.

Don’t let me down, Santa.

Love,  
David Rose  
Age 10

Dear Santa!  
  
Please for Christmas this year can I have something to play with between takes on set? It gets sooooo boring waiting for the grownups to do whatever before I can say my lines again.  
  
Lots of love,  
Alexis Rose,  
Age 5

To Santa:  
  
Thank you so much for all the lovely presents last year. There were so many! Mommy says it must be because I was really really good. I hope I’ve also been really really good this year but it’s okay if your elves are too busy to make as many this time.  
  
Daddy says I’m probably big enough to play hockey but mommy says I need to have all the ~~prit~~ ~~protek~~ protective equipment first so it would be soooooooo cool if you could give me that for Christmas so I can learn to play like Wendel Clark. He’s my hero.  
  
Love from  
Patrick Brewer  
Age 5

* * *

##  **1994**

Dear Santa!  
  
David won’t tell me why he isn’t writing to you this year. I think he’s being a big grumpy baby and maybe what he needs for Christmas is something that will make him laugh. Adelina says it’s puberty and I should be patient with him but he’s being really annoying.  
  
Anyway, for Christmas this year can I please ask for some barbies or some other dolls I can play with? That’s what all the girls at school do and I just want to do what they’re doing. Some of them have seen me in the Toys R Us ad and they think I’m silly, and I don’t want them to think I’m silly.  
  
Lots of love,  
Alexis Rose,  
Age 6

To Santa:  
  
Joey Simpson at my school had his house get burned down last month and his family are all staying in a motel. Some of the kids at school are making fun of him but I think that’s stupid. Who cares where someone lives if they’re a nice person?  
  
Anyway Santa I think it would be really nice if you gave Joey and his sister my share of Christmas presents this year. They lost all their toys and I know I’d be really sad if I lost all my toys. Besides I already get lots of presents from mommy and daddy and my grandparents, so it’s okay.  
  
Love from  
Patrick Brewer  
Age 6  
  
PS: Mommy says I’m a sweet boy but that I have to ask for at least one thing. That seems like a funny rule but I guess I would ask for a board game that I can play with my cousins when they come round, please.

* * *

##  **1995**

Dear Santa!  
  
Adelina says I shouldn’t get my hopes up because lots and lots of kids will be asking for these for Christmas this year, but David laughed and said he was sure if it’s for me Santa will be able to make it happen. He said “Santa” really funny though, and Adelina told him off, but I don’t really understand why.  
  
So I’m sure you’ve got lots of letters like this but can I please have some Beanie Babies for Christmas? If you can get me some of the special ones that would be really cool. Mommy says ~~unik~~ uniqueness is important to show people that we’re special.  
  
Lots of love,  
Alexis Rose,  
Age 7

To Santa:  
  
I hope you and the elves have had a good year! Daddy says it must be nice to only have to work for one month a year but mommy flicked the tea towel at him and said you work really hard in that month to make lots of kids happy. I think mommy is right, although it would be nice to have daddy home to play with me all the time.  
  
Mrs Browne sometimes brings her guitar in to play songs to us and it makes me feel really happy. I think I’d like to learn how to play. Do you think maybe I could have a guitar for Christmas? If it’s too hard for the elves to make, that’s okay. I also really like the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and so one of their action figures would be cool.  
  
Love from  
Patrick Brewer  
Age 7

* * *

##  **1996**

Dear Santa!  
  
Please don’t bring me any toys for Christmas this year. It’s not as fun playing with all my toys by myself, and Mary Louise always wrecks my toys if I take them to school because she says I’m rich enough to just buy another one.  
  
Even though David is a stupid boy and sometimes really annoying the house has been really quiet since he went to boarding school. Maybe for Christmas this year you could bring us both some nice stationery sets or something so we can write to each other? David has really pretty handwriting (don’t tell him I said so).  
  
Lots of love,  
Alexis Rose,  
Age 8

To Santa:  
  
I know this is a big ask but mom and dad are taking me to Disney World next year which will be so much fun, but dad says it’s a really long drive. Do you think it would be okay to ask for a game boy so I don’t get bored on the drive? If that’s too fancy that’s okay. Some books or something would also be really nice.  
  
Love from  
Patrick Brewer  
Age 8

* * *

##  **1997**

Dear Santa!  
  
For Christmas this year I would really like some nice makeup please. Grown up makeup, not the little kid makeup. Mommy says I have to find my undertone but I don’t know what that means. Hopefully you do.  
  
Also can you PLEASE give David some new tamagotchis so he stops complaining about how I killed his old ones, it totally wasn’t my fault!!!  
  
Lots of love,  
Alexis Rose,  
Age 9

To Santa:  
  
I finally got to join a little league team and I love it so so so so much! Please can I ask for anything to do with baseball, the Blue Jays are the best team and blue is my favourite colour so I would be so happy with anything from them. Dad says he’ll take me to a game sometime, I can’t wait!  
  
Love from  
Patrick Brewer  
Age 9

* * *

##  **🎅🎅🎅**

Dear David,  
  
I’ve loved receiving your letters over the years. I hope you always remember that you’re a nice boy at heart.  
  
I’m sorry that your guitar is going to be a few years late. Be on the lookout for a surprising sort of elf with a kind smile and playful eyes. He’ll find you when you need him.  
  
Love,  
Santa

Dear Alexis,  
  
I’ve arranged for David to get a few new tamagotchis but I’m afraid he’ll never let it go. Siblings, expecially older siblings, are a bit like that — they’ll hang on to the little things, but at the end of the day they’ll always be there when you need them.  
  
Sorry I couldn’t include the makeup this time, but I thought a packet of bobby pins and a book of magic and escape tricks might actually come in more handy. You never know when you might need that skill!  
  
Love,  
Santa

Dear Patrick,  
  
What a lovely, kind-hearted boy you are. Don’t forget, though, that sometimes there's such a thing as being too selfless.  
  
Have fun at the Jays game, this jersey will make sure everyone knows who you’re rooting for. But you’ll notice there’s a gift here you didn't ask for, too — I heard you’ve grown up so fast you’ve nearly outgrown the guitar I brought you a few years ago, so here’s a bigger one for you. Remember, music can soothe all the corners of the soul (not just yours) and help you say things you don’t quite have the words for yet.  
  
Love,  
Santa


End file.
